Archive for May, 2024

From The Chrysalis BREW Project: Dive Bartender: Flowers in the Desert by T.K. O’Neill takes us on a roller-coaster ride. The hair-raising action sequences, the breathtaking descriptions of the desert, and the uninhibited consumption of drugs and alcohol actually made me feel like I was living in the wild west of the seventies.

Frank’s head was on a swivel, searching the nearly empty, Old West-themed streets for cop cars, motels, all-night restaurants or anything that might provide an alternative to the present situation.

But mostly cop cars…

The local cops had a reputation for hard-ass behavior, the Gold Dust Twins had said earlier in the evening.

Not knowing what else to do, Frank kept cruising around, sweat dripping from his armpits one cold drop at a time.

And then Evelyn was pointing across the way at a grand old structure that looked like it’d been there since the fifties, Frank thinking maybe Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and the Rat Pack had comped suites for life.

Sign on the front said, Hotel Valley Ho.

“I could get a room there,” Evelyn said, the words struggling to come out. “Always wanted to get a look inside that place.”

Frank looked at the dashboard clock.

Nearly four a.m.

And the needle on the wagon’s temperature gauge was up way too high all of a sudden.

What the hell?

Must be a coolant leak, he thought. All the hot weather taking its toll.

And that fancy hotel had to cost two hundred a night, at least. And Evelyn would need another blast to go through the lobby and maybe want another when they got to the room and then Frank would be stuck in there listening to a bunch of coke-and-Tuinal-fueled nonsense until she could go home and Frank could get the fuck out of town.

So the Valley Ho wasn’t going to work, no matter how cool it looked.

Frank kept on driving, the Hater back front and center in his head and letting him know what he thought of all this.

Hater wasn’t very kind.

And then, just as suddenly as the lights had appeared upon reentering Scottsdale, the surroundings got darker and the buildings became fewer and farther in between.

Frank’s eyes were jumping from the temperature gauge—needle precariously close to the red line now—to Evelyn’s nodding head and then back to the dark streets. Repeating the cycle every few seconds

Then—hallelujah—he caught sight of what seemed to be a major artery. A north-south highway according to the compass mounted on the Ford’s dash, one of the former owner’s additions to the wagon’s accessory package.

His hands sweaty on the wheel; Frank approached the highway cautiously and was uplifted by the sight of a neon sign on a frontage road to his right.

Tru West Motel.

Icy AC.

Cable TV.

In-room phones.

A place only Norman Bates could love.

Frank swung in the lot, stopped in front of the Office sign.

Evelyn looked at him from behind her haze. “You gotta be shitting me,” she said, her lips slack. Then her head lolled against the car door and she was out.

Frank was grateful for the small favor.

He got out and went up to the office door, wondering if he’d be able to raise anyone at this hour. There was a button on the wall next to the door. Sign below it said Push for After-hours Service.

He pressed it and heard a faint ringing behind the door.

He shuffled his feet and looked back at Evelyn.

Still out.

He waited.

Time passed slowly.

Behind him a few cars went by, lights reflecting on the motel’s windows.

Feeling antsy, he pushed the button again and heard the bell.

“All right, I hear ya. Hold your horses,” said a voice.

The door opened.

Guy standing there in a thin baby blue robe over a white strap undershirt. Small feet in old-time brown slippers. Fit Frank’s idea of someone who’d own a place like this. Short and fat, with a white beard, horn-rimmed glasses askew on a gin blossom nose and a scowl on his face that let you know he wasn’t a jolly, roly-poly type of guy, even though he kind of resembled Santa Claus.

Of the department store variety.

But who could blame the guy? Four in the morning confronted by a big stranger with booze on his breath and—Frank looking at his hands now—bloodied knuckles. The result of scraping against Bryce Parker’s teeth. And, oops, there was some blood on the top of his Adidas sneaker.

“Sorry to bother you at this hour, sir,” Frank said, polite. “But my wife and I have been driving all night—we’re from Minnesota—and—”

“You need a room. Hell else you’d want at this hour?” He stepped outside and looked at Frank’s car, checking the front license plate and peering in at Evelyn.

“My wife’s asleep. We’ve been on the road since Colorado.”

“All right,” Desert Santa said, giving Frank a sure-you-have look. “That’ll be fifty dollars. In advance. Checkout time is noon. You wanna stay longer it’ll cost you extra.”

Frank pulled his wallet from the pocket of his khakis and thumbed out two twenties and a ten.

“Gotta come in and fill out the card,” the guy said.

(End of Chapter 33)

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From SPR Review: “Love, loss, brotherhood, and purpose clash in a timeless examination of freedom through a drug-addled lens. With a clever and original flourish for simple, unexpected descriptions, the prose hums along at an even clip, occasionally taking time to wax poetic, à la Kerouac, with the urgency in Frank’s mind and movements reminiscent of Sal Paradise, if not Dean Moriarty. Comparisons aside, this book is far from derivative; it is a refreshing homage to beatnik life, telling an accessible story with a familiar lesson – you can’t go home again, and home is wherever you make it.”  

Rolling across the pitch black desert in the station wagon, dust cloud in the rearview glowing taillight-red, giant cacti looming beyond the arc of the headlights like lost soldiers in Pancho Villa’s army, Frank could only shake his head at the turn the evening had taken.

All because of the young girl on his right, her nose full of white powder and her belly full of booze and downers.

But no, that wasn’t really accurate.

What went down was all because of the predatory behavior of two overly entitled white guys with too much money and too few values.

Guys who believed it their right to take what they wanted without concern for the consequences.

But, hey, they weren’t the Hillside Stranglers, as Clayton Cook had so fervently declared.

Frank’s mind switched gears and began working on the thorny problem of what to do now.

“You got some place to go, Evelyn, some place I can take you?”

“No, not really,” Evelyn replied, her jaw set at an angle and her eyes momentarily wide and staring in the glow of the dash lights.

“Whattaya mean, no not really? You haven’t got a home? Come on, I’m just trying to help here.”

“Of course I have a home, pendejo. I share an apartment with my brother Javier.”

There was that ben decko shit again.

“Good, I’ll take you there. But you have to tell me the way. I’m not from around here.”

“Really,” she said, sarcasm dripping from her words like wax from a candle, “I never would have known. Your car is just like the cars in my neighborhood—old and shitty.”

Girl using sarcasm? She must be doing better than he’d thought. “It’s not shitty. It’s reliable. Trustworthy. Just like me. Now tell me how to get to your apartment.”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“I stutter or something?”

“Just give me directions.”

“I give you directions out here in the desert, you’ll just forget them by the time we get to Phoenix.”

Frank couldn’t help himself and broke into song: “ By the time I get to Phoenix, she’ll be waiting.”

Evelyn made a face. “You got a permit for that voice? Permit to carry a tune? Think you’re in violation, Jack.”

“Name’s Frank. Give me the directions when we get back to civilization then.”

“Javier finds out I’ve been doing drugs, he’ll slap me around.”

“Your brother beats you?”

“Only if he catches me doing dope. Both our parents are dead and Javier thinks he has to play father to me. Even though he’s younger. I’ve had some trouble with drugs in the past, so I guess he has a right. I can drink as much as I want and he doesn’t say a damn thing, but he finds out I’ve had one taste of coke or a pill or something, he blows his cork.”

“Where would you like me to drop you then?”

“I dunno. Hotel?”

“Got any money?”

“Few bucks.”

“Nice. Sweet. Just fuckin’ dandy. How old are you, Evelyn?”

“Twenty-two.”

“Got ID?” You’ve been a bartender for ten years, you have to ask.

“I need ID to ride in this piece of shit?”

“Never mind. I’ll take your word for it.”

But Jesus, look at her, she looks seventeen.

If that.

He could see the state trooper shining a flashlight in the window at the dangerously young girl with booze on her breath and white powder on the edge of her nostrils. And then the light hits the loaded handgun on the front seat.

Night plinking in the desert, son?

Then the cop shines the light on the face of the driver—a much older man— forty, at least.

Only thirty-six, Frank was thinking as he tossed Larry’s pistol out the car window.

And what, pray tell, is the age of consent in Arizona?

For an answer he got an image of Clayton Cook: “Old enough to bleed, old enough to butcher.”

Pleasant.

“You got any tunes in this car?” Evelyn said, still showing signs of life.

“Radio doesn’t work.”

“Shitty car, like I said. Even the campesinos have a radio.”

Frank jammed on the brakes and the wagon skidded to a halt. “You want to get out and walk?” he said, feeling like what he imagined the father of a teen-ager might feel.

He watched her look out the window at the blackness. Saw a couple pairs of eyes looking back.

Arizona coyotes.

She laughed. A guffaw, a snort and a girlish giggle. “No thanks. I know you won’t leave me, you have kind eyes.”

“Okay, you got me.”

He hit the gas.

Few minutes later, glancing at Evelyn, he could see she was starting to fade again, her eyes getting heavy and her head lolling forward like one of those bobblehead dolls people were putting in their back windows. “You know, Evelyn, your friend Clayton put Tuinals in your drink.”

“Toenails in my drink, ew.”

“No, honey, Tu-i-nals. It’s a barbiturate.”

“Barbershit?”

“Sleeping pills.”

Fuckin’ lumiosos. Now I need a toot.” She stuck her hand in her purse and came out with the coke bag, pinched a wad between thumb and forefinger and sniffed it in.

“Okay, honey, that’s enough for now. Wipe off your nose and give me the coke. We’ll be back in town pretty soon and we can’t have the policia seeing you snort up. Definitely not cool.”

Frank was keeping track of her snorting; determining that she needed a toot about every fifteen minutes just to stay reasonably coherent.

Time to cut her off and hope she passed out.

“Stop calling me honey,” she said, handing over the bag of powder.

“You got it, swee—ah—Evelyn.”

And before too long, miraculous as it seemed at the time, they came upon some lighted streets Frank halfway remembered.

And then, more miracles, they were somehow back in front of the Neon Cactus, the club now looking eerily vacant, surrounding streets empty and clean as if no one had been there for a week.

(To be continued)

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From the (St. Paul) Pioneer Press: “Although O’Neill…writes from the noir end of the mystery genre, “Dive Bartender” is not a violent book. Some of it is funny and there is tenderness in Frank’s all-consuming devotion to Evelyn. Also, there are gangsters and drugs.

Frank straightened himself to his full six-two, gave Cook his best Clint Eastwood sneer. “I’d heard that guys like you live in a bubble, Cook, and now I know it’s true. Guess it’s up to me to burst that bubble.”

“Good luck with that, bartender,” Cook said, walking away.

Then Bryce Parker came around the wall wearing an indignant look, his chin raised. “You know what, Ford? You are no longer welcome at Sonora North. Get in your rat’s ass station wagon and get off my property.”

Frank let his torso go limp and dropped his gaze to the floor at Parker’s feet. “You gonna call the sheriff, Bryce?” he said, raising his head and looking Parker in the eye.

As Parker stood there blinking, Frank set his feet, got his hips and shoulder into it and drove his right fist into the center of Parker’s squared-off chin.

Parker’s arms flew out to the side as he toppled backwards like a chopped tree, banging his head on the hardwood floor and going still.

Frank watched Larry turn stiff. Man looked shocked and disturbed.

Welcome to the club.

Frank left Larry gaping there and went back to the game room. Moving quickly across the hardwood towards the bar, he watched Cook’s saucer eyes get even larger.

“What the fuck, are you doing, man?” Cook said, his voice going up a couple octaves.

Evelyn’s eyes were especially wide and her body was showing the signs of actual muscle tone as Frank moved in and grasped Cook by the collar of his “high-end” shirt.

Clayton grabbed at Frank’s hands and tried to pull them off. “Frank, man, c’mon, ease off. We’re all friends here.”

“Friends don’t dose friend’s drinks with Tuinals, Clayton,” Frank said. Then he shifted his right hand from Cook’s collar to the back of his head and drove Cook’s forehead down onto the bar top.

Clayton’s head bounced off the granite, his eyes rolled back and his ass slid off the barstool.

He hit the floor like a wet bar rag.

“Come on, Evelyn,” Frank said. “We’re leaving. Think you can walk?”

“No party?”

“Party’s over, dear. But you can take that bag of coke with you if you want. Something to see you through, something for your inconvenience.”

She made an attempt at a smile before bending over and picking up the rolled-up hundred. She snorted a long line of powder, pinched her nose and grabbed the coke. She put the glassine bag in her purse, a fringed leather thing she clumsily lifted off the stool next to her.

Being gentle, Frank put his hand on her elbow and helped her to her feet.

Together, arm and arm, they started for the door.

“Whattaya think you’re fuckin’ doing, Frank?” Larry Richards shouted from behind them. “You pull this shit—after all the hospitality we showed you?”

Frank craned his neck around.

Saw Larry pointing a gun.

The commemorative Colt.

“Sorry, Larry, but it looks like I’ve already done it. And you better put that pop gun away before someone really gets hurt.”

Frank let go of Evelyn’s arm and turned square with Richards. She swayed on her feet but remained upright.

Richards raised the gun to the level of Frank’s chest, hand shaking. “That’s five hundred bucks worth of blow.”

“I look at it as a fee. I figure she’s got it coming. And c’mon, Larry, get real. You and I both know you’re not going to shoot me.” But looking at the panic and growing hysteria in his old chum’s eyes, Frank wasn’t so sure.

Larry lowered the gun.

“Give it to me, Larry.” Frank held out his hand.

Larry handed it over, a guilty look on his drained-of-color face, Frank thinking of that Procol Harum song, “A Whiter Shade of Pale.”

“Now Evelyn and I are leaving, Larry. And I suggest you think about doing the same.”

“Frank?”

“What?”

“You’re gonna need to punch me, so it looks like I put up a struggle.”

You need more than a punch to straighten your ass out, Frank was thinking. Parents probably didn’t spank you enough.

This was a subject Frank and Nikki had debated more than once, Nikki calling him a “Neanderthal” when he told her he believed in Spare the rod and spoil the child.

But he was getting sick and tired of thinking about Nikki all the time so he obliged Richards and threw a punch. Only going three-quarters and avoiding the nose and teeth, he crunched his fist on Larry’s cheekbone in a way that was guaranteed to leave a nice, showy, shiner.

With Larry groaning on the floor, Frank thinking he was maybe overdoing it, Frank and Evelyn left the building. Frank used the commemorative Colt to shoot out two tires on the Lincoln, one front, one back, and then they continued down the red brick toward the dome and the station wagon. He was trying to move her along at a brisk pace but it was like dragging a beer keg up the basement stairs at the Metropole.

He helped her into the front seat of the wagon, the girl muttering “Jesus… Jesus… Jesus…” in a scratchy voice. And also something that sounded to Frank like “Ben-deck-ohs.”

He went around and slid in behind the wheel and turned the ignition key.

Wagon fired up and Frank threw it in gear and headed for the gate, hoping to be long gone before Parker or Cook came to.

But the goddamn gate was closed and locked.

“Fuck,” he shouted, pounding on the steering wheel with both hands.

He looked over at the girl. She was into the coke bag already, pulling out a wad of powder pinched between her thumb and forefinger and putting it to her lovely nose.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, for goddamn sure.

Frank thought about backing up and making a run at it, picturing the steel gate flying off to the side like in the movies. Then pictured a more likely scenario: gate not moving at all, not flying off to the side, staying shut and leaving his car crunched and unmoving, like a dying steer.

Shit. 

Not knowing what to do, he craned his neck around and squinted at the door of the house.

And saw no one.

Yet.

Then it came to him. This was the American West. He had the gun that won the West on the front seat.

Well, at least a facsimile.

And how did they deal with a lock in every Western movie ever made?

Shot the sonofabitch.

Frank got out, walked up to the control box, pointed the revolver at the box from three feet away, shielded his eyes with his left hand and pulled the trigger.

Bullet hit the box dead center.

Box popped and fizzled.

Frank saw the gate come loose and swing open a few inches. He put his back into it and pulled it all the way open, thing harder to move than he’d anticipated.

When he got back behind the wheel, he was sweating.

(End of Chapter 31)

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