“My Ship Comes In” is the fourth story, a novella, in T.K. O’Neill’s Northwoods Pulp Reloaded collection of three short crime stories and this longer story. Ebook available here.

     Then I think I hear a splash over the water and a weakly shouted, “Keith!” I stand there frozen in the warm rain. The bow light is out now and the sea is dark. If Schmidt were on board there would be something more than a muffled shout; that much I know. 

     Was it drowned out by the waves and wind and rain? I’m hoping they’re just being cautious. My gut churns at the possibility Bagley and Schmidt doubted my reliability. Then another sound, like a brief cry of pain, reaches my ears. A shaky flashlight beam points down at the water then goes dark.

     Five eternal minutes go by, the only sounds the hammering of the rain and the pounding of my heart. I don’t move. Squinting through the dim light, I can see the dinghy coming ashore, landing rope dangling in the water. The bow lifts as it hits the beach and a stooped figure struggles out. Slowly, it makes its way towards the lantern light. 

     Looks like Bagley. And just like the Larson E, he’s listing to one side. I see dark splotches on his torn safari shirt. Schmidt is nowhere to be seen. 

     I drop the club and start running down the soggy sand.

     “Keith,” Bagley says with a weak voice, “Where are you, Keith? Can’t you see I need help?”

     “I’m coming, Dan. What the hell’s going on? Where the fuck is Steve?” 

     I get to him and discover that the blotches on his shirt appear to be blood. He’s got a red bandana tied around his right bicep.

     “Steve’s dead. We were attacked by fuckin’ pirates. Schmidty got shot. He’s dead, Keith. Those bastards killed him. I got lucky or I’d be dead too. It was terrible. I’m just so goddamn lucky. They were trying to board us when Schmidty shot a flare into their fuel tank. I guess he saved my life—and now he’s gone.”

     I stop dead in my tracks. Blackness descends over me like a tight-fitting skullcap. My knees buckle. “He was a good man,” I say, struggling for composure. 

     I help Dan to my camping spot. We sit down on the sand and the rain lightens. He has blood on his face and hands and what appears to be shallow stab wounds around his neck and right shoulder. And he’s pale, like maybe he’s lost a lot of blood.

     “Jesus, Dan, I can’t believe this is happening. Schmidt is fuckin’ dead. This is awful, man. What the hell should we do? You’re not looking so good. I think we need to get out of here.”

     “I’ll make it,” Bagley says, His voice is weak but resolved. “I’ve got too much money and too much time involved in this to give up now. Schmidty would want us to keep going, Keith. You’ve got to hold it together. If we can just get this job done, I think everything will turn out all right.”

     Now I’m shaking, the last drops of precious adrenaline ripping through me like a hundred and ten volts of pure lightning.

     “We’ve got to move fast, Keith. You have to get the van. I don’t think I can walk that far. I’m feeling a little light-headed. You’re going to have to save me, for a change. After all those times I bailed you out, now its time for you to pay me back.”

     Bailed me out? What the fuck is he talking about?

     “What about the ganja?”

     “There isn’t any pot, Keith. Just coke, a hundred pounds of pure Colombian cocaine. It’s inside the fuel tank. There’s a special little door underneath the seats at the stern. You have to push a button on the console and the piece will slide back. First turn the ignition key to the right—clockwise—then push the black button on the outside of the steering console. I think there’s enough juice left in the battery. If not, you’ll have to grab a crowbar from the tool kit and—“

     “Just a goddamn minute. You told me this was a pot deal—mari-ju-wana—not fuckin’ coke. Every time I touch cocaine, something bad happens. And believe me I’ve got enough trouble as it is without adding more. Steve is dead, man. Can’t you see? It’s happening already. Hundred pounds of coke can get you executed in this state. This is insane. I should turn around and walk the fuck out of here, leave you for the cops. I do not want to mess with cocaine.”

     “T-t-take the damn cross off your shoulders, Keith, and get s-s-smart.” Bagley’s chronic nervous stutter makes an appearance. “Pot is for hippies; it’s old w-w-world, now. The profits are less and the loads are larger—it’s all yesterday’s papers. You can cut this blow and keep cutting it, and you’ll still be able to sell it for top buck. The p-p-profit margins are astronomical. You can put a hundred pounds in a backpack, and y-you can’t say that about w-w-weed.” He sits down on the sand, elbows resting on his knees, chin on his clasped hands. “Now go and get our nest egg so we can get out of here b-b-b-before I goddamn bleed to d-d-death.”

     “You seem to be doing all right, man. At least you’ve regained your gift for being an asshole.”

     “What do you mean by that? And what are you waiting for? I haven’t got much energy left.”

     I stare at him. 

     “Oh, I see…” he says. “So th-th-that’s the way you’re going to play it.  W-w-well then, ah-ah… I’ll tell you what, I’ll ah, ah, in-increase your share of the load—n-now that Schmidt is gone we can—”

     “I want half,” I say, looking him straight in the eye.

     “W-w-w-well, I w-was thinking a third—of Steve’s share—but I guess half would be f-fair, if you insist.”

     “You misunderstand, Mr. Bagley. I want half of the whole thing. The game has suddenly changed, you see. I never signed on for cocaine—and especially not death. And I think those added problems warrant extra compensation.”

     “Huh, huh,” he clucks like a hen, “You’re not serious.”

     I turn away and walk down to the dinghy. Grab the rope and start to swing the bow around when a realization—no, more a question—comes to mind: If Dan and I leave in the van and Steve is no longer around, who is going to sail the boat around the horn? Yes, sir, that’s the sixty-four-thousand-dollar question. I pull the dinghy up farther on the beach then walk back to where Bagley sits glumly, staring at me. In the yellow glow of the smoldering fire, the marks on his face look like scratches. He’s dabbing at them with a wet cloth, the water jug at his feet. 

     He looks up at me, annoyed.

     “What about the boat, Dan? We can’t just leave it here, can we?”

     “You’ll have to sink it.”

     “How am I supposed to do that?”

     “It’s already taking water from where they rammed us.”

     “They were close enough to ram you—and you’re still alive?”

     “Schmidt cut loose on them with the twelve-gauge and they backed off and waited until dark.”

     “All right, so what should I do?”

     “Go out to the boat and put the coke in the dinghy. Then start the engine, lock the rudder into a southwesterly direction, throw her in gear and get off.”

     “How do I lock the rudder?  Is there a switch or something?”

     “There’s a loop of rope that holds it in place. You’ll see how it works.”

     “Will she sink fast enough?”

     “Blow a hole in it with the shotgun. Just make sure it’s below the water line. There’s a few slugs left. They’re on the bed in the master stateroom. And you better take a lantern.”

     “I don’t know about touching off a shotgun. Somebody around here hears it, they might call the cops.”

     “Close the cabin door. In this rain, no one will hear anything. Or better yet, just pull the drain plugs. But that will take you some time and the shotgun won’t. Yeah, blow some holes—that way it’ll look like pirates if anyone finds the boat.”

     “Yeah,” I say, and turn, like a zombie, toward my task.

(To be continued)

“My Ship Comes In” is the fourth story, a novella, in T.K. O’Neill’s Northwoods Pulp Reloaded collection of three short crime stories and this longer story.

Chapter 4

Two days later, I’m still alone on this desolate strip of beach waiting for something I’m not even sure is going to happen. But I have no other place to go and ninety-three bucks won’t get me very far in any direction. Looks like I’m stuck with sticking it out.

     The adrenaline high that kept me going has washed out and left in its place rising anxiety and a longing for something I can’t identify. Also a nagging suspicion that I’ve really fucked things up this time. I know I can’t wait on this beach forever; food and patience are nearly depleted. In the back of my head, a hyena mocks my every thought.

     After much soul searching I decide to leave by noon tomorrow, boat or no boat. After this much time has gone by, I can’t be sure of what or who might show up—if anybody. 

     Will a flotilla of coastguardsmen fresh from drug interception training be hitting the beach like the second assault on Normandy? Or will Bagley and Schmidt float in all big-timey, acting like it’s no big deal to get stood up on a lonely beach for two days by a couple of assholes. 

     Just because they’re the big-time smugglers and I’m the lousy pick-up guy doesn’t mean I haven’t run a few risks. If only they knew.

     I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve gotten up and said to myself I’m leaving, only to sit back down, light a cigarette and wait some more. Stare out at something in the vast distance and wait. The waves just keep breaking slowly and rhythmically against the shore and the sound has become an annoyance. No longer relaxing, it grates on me like a constantly nagging voice: Sucker, sucker, sucker…. 

     You get to a point in a situation like this where you run out of things to think about and your mind starts covering the same old territory, over and over like a broken record. Round and round she goes, where she stops nobody knows.  

     And if you stare long enough at nothing, something might finally appear. If it’s far enough away, an object can take the shape of many things. Sheer wishful thinking, if you’re tired enough, hungry enough or scared enough, might make you see something that isn’t there. Whether you’re sitting in a deer stand or a duck blind or against a bank of sand, it’s conceivable that a stump could seem to be a deer, a pigeon might look like a duck and a large piece of debris on the horizon could become a boat. 

     There’s a dark speck on the horizon now that brings this theory to mind. How long has it been there? Could it actually be them, after all this time?

     Adrenaline again begins its bubbling drive through my bloodstream and I stand up to stare out at the dark speck. Then the waves and the wind start to change. Begin to sound like an orchestra. An orchestra playing something exhilarating and uplifting like a Sousa march or a hymn, maybe. Not a solemn, weepy song, but a strong and warlike hymn like “Onward Christian Soldiers” or “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.”

     The object is closer now—and most definitely a sailboat. Possibly approaching my little home away from home. Clouds are rolling in and a damp breeze is kicking up from the North. As I stand here squinting out at the sailboat, the sun disappears and the blue and yellow sky slowly fills in with gray and black. 

     Now the boat seems to have stopped its shoreward progress. 

     I build up the sand around the signal flag, throw some wood on the fire and fetch the binoculars. 

     Not enough light to be sure, but indeed, the object looks to me like the Larson E. But something is off; she doesn’t look quite right going through the water. But then what do I know about sailing? What does a northern boy like me know about sailboats? Still, I swear it looks as though the sail is down and the bow is listing. I start to think about it and my paranoia alarm goes off like the dive signal on a submarine. I’m sure it’s the narco squad driving the boat, trying to clean up the loose ends of another failed smuggling attempt. 

     Or could it be that Schmidt and Bagley are drunk and trying to fuck with my head?

     I squeeze the field glasses tighter and search for any signs of life. One of them should be on deck, scanning the shoreline. But the deck is empty. There’s nobody out there.

     Some long lost instinct tells me something’s wrong and I drop the glasses in the sand and look nervously around for some kind of weapon. My eyes lock onto an axe handle’s length of wood lying in my pile of scraps. I pick it up and run the smooth, worn surface through my hands. It’s a little thicker than an axe handle and a little hard to grip, but it will have to do, should a situation arise. Primitive man using primitive tools.

     The boat keeps moving slowly in my direction and the sky keeps fading to black. It’s raining now, big drops coming straight down. I let it pour down on me, pointing my face to the heavens. Then a tiny bow light on the boat breaks through the curtain of darkness, glowing both red and yellow, like the glass cover is broken. Then a beam, like a flashlight, sweeps the boat’s interior and goes dark.

     I pick up the driftwood and walk back into the dunes, watching silently as the bow light moves ever so slowly toward shore. I hear the murmur of the diesel engine for a moment and then it’s gone, swallowed up by the rain. Then I hear something moving behind me in the brush. I hold up my club and yell, “Who’s there?”

     Nobody, answers the rain.

(To be continued)

“My Ship Comes In” is the fourth story, a novella, in T.K. O’Neill’s Northwoods Pulp Reloaded release of three short crime stories and this longer story.



 

Chapter 3

“Make sure you’ve got the lanterns lit before the sun goes down,” Dan Bagley had told me, condescension dripping like sour syrup from his puffy lips. “You can’t just dawdle down there when you feel like it; they have to be shining before dark. If we can’t see the lights we could run aground. You’d better stay straight while you’re there, we can’t afford to have this messed up.”

     Yeah right—like I’d be waiting for a boatload of contraband and taking it lightly. Like

self-preservation wasn’t enough motivation to do things right for Christ sake.

     The boys are way late, at least eight hours behind schedule. After all the shit I’ve been through, they should at least be on time. Where the hell are they?  

     Out there somewhere on the green-green ocean.

     Actually, it’s black at the moment and changing to gray at the horizon, as the sun begins to rise behind me. You really become aware of horizons by the seaside, especially if you’ve been up all night waiting for a boat that’s hauling your future inside its fuel tank.

     It’s clearly an either-or situation for me: Either I get caught and go to jail for a good piece of time or I get away with it and buy myself some freedom for more than likely a lesser period of time. But what the hell, there aren’t any better offers in the wind and at least I’m not slaving in the hot sun for peanuts like so many others around here. 

     They call Florida a “right to work” state. I believe that means the owners are always right and somebody else does the work for them. I studied labor laws in college; I know these things.

     The higher the sun rises the more I worry. Without some sort of visible marker, it might be difficult to find this relatively small spot on a long hunk of featureless beach, even in bright daylight. Sand goes on in either direction for miles and miles. I clearly need to rig something up for the daylight hours. I try to think but the hot sun is scrambling my brain.

     How much warning, will the boys need to keep the keel out of the sand? Should I rig up a gaudy signal flag? What if the wrong people see it? Will everyone involved in this deal go to burning hell?

     I wonder if the cops know about the van. Maybe they’ve already gotten to Carole and there’s an APB out for a white VW bus with Colorado license plates and black eyelashes painted above the headlights. Maybe the highway patrol is going through it now as I sit here helplessly waiting, only a mile down the beach.

     But waiting is all I can do.

(To be continued)

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“My Ship Comes In” is the fourth story, a novella, in T.K. O’Neill’s Northwoods Pulp Reloaded release of three short crime stories and this longer story.



 

Chapter 3

“Make sure you’ve got the lanterns lit before the sun goes down,” Dan Bagley had told me, condescension dripping like sour syrup from his puffy lips. “You can’t just dawdle down there when you feel like it; they have to be shining before dark. If we can’t see the lights we could run aground. You’d better stay straight while you’re there, we can’t afford to have this messed up.”

     Yeah right—like I’d be waiting for a boatload of contraband and taking it lightly. Like

self-preservation wasn’t enough motivation to do things right for Christ sake.

     The boys are way late, at least eight hours behind schedule. After all the shit I’ve been through, they should at least be on time. Where the hell are they?  

     Out there somewhere on the green-green ocean.

     Actually, it’s black at the moment and changing to gray at the horizon, as the sun begins to rise behind me. You really become aware of horizons by the seaside, especially if you’ve been up all night waiting for a boat that’s hauling your future inside its fuel tank.

     It’s clearly an either-or situation for me: Either I get caught and go to jail for a good piece of time or I get away with it and buy myself some freedom for more than likely a lesser period of time. But what the hell, there aren’t any better offers in the wind and at least I’m not slaving in the hot sun for peanuts like so many others around here. 

     They call Florida a “right to work” state. I believe that means the owners are always right and somebody else does the work for them. I studied labor laws in college; I know these things.

     The higher the sun rises the more I worry. Without some sort of visible marker, it might be difficult to find this relatively small spot on a long hunk of featureless beach, even in bright daylight. Sand goes on in either direction for miles and miles. I clearly need to rig something up for the daylight hours. I try to think but the hot sun is scrambling my brain.

     How much warning, will the boys need to keep the keel out of the sand? Should I rig up a gaudy signal flag? What if the wrong people see it? Will everyone involved in this deal go to burning hell?

     I wonder if the cops know about the van. Maybe they’ve already gotten to Carole and there’s an APB out for a white VW bus with Colorado license plates and black eyelashes painted above the headlights. Maybe the highway patrol is going through it now as I sit here helplessly waiting, only a mile down the beach.

     But waiting is all I can do.

(To be continued)

ebook only $1.99 – through March 15!

Amazon/Kindle: https://amzn.to/3AzETuy

Barnes and Noble Nook:  https://bit.ly/3u24Y2O

Apple: https://apple.co/3D4kb6T

Kobo: https://bit.ly/3isQyUP

Scribd: https://bit.ly/3oskPXN

Indigo: https://bit.ly/2Yo4PeC

“My Ship Comes In” is the fourth story, a novella, in T.K. O’Neill’s Northwoods Pulp Reloaded release of three short crime stories and this longer story.

     Carole got a job as a copywriter at a Clearwater talk-radio station and our lives began to change once again. But the more things change the more they stay the same, they say, and I got back on the drugs and alcohol spiral. Only now I had a willing an enthusiastic partner.

     We were like two moths attracted to the same flame.

     But drugs and alcohol, plus squabbling, lead to infidelity and risky behavior. Soon I was strung out and desperate for something to call my own.

     And then one night, Barry Simpson, my old college pal, called from Orlando. “An old friend of yours is in town, Keith,” he said to me.

“Someone I know is in Orlando—right now?”

“Yep, from back in Zenith City.”

“Who the hell is that?”

“Dan Bagley.”

“You’re shitting me….”

     “Nope, it’s true.  He called me the other day from Daytona Beach, said he was going to be in town in a few days. He’s got some other dude with him.”

Regret fills me as I recall my trip to Orlando. If I had stayed at home with my family instead of taking the drive, there might be someone else on this beach instead of me. And I might still have a chance at a normal life.

     Bagley and Schmidt seemed so confident and free; I was taken in. I let Bagley lead me down wrong the path, much like the first time we met. That was back when we were kids and he talked me into sneaking out of Sunday school to smoke Lucky Strikes in the alley behind the church.   

     Sometimes you’re a little slow to learn, I guess.

It’s approaching nightfall now, and still no sign of the boat. Worry has turned to abject fear, overcome only by the need to ease the boredom. I turn the portable radio on as the grapefruit sun gets sliced up by the edge of the world. 

     Hendrix is playing “Manic Depression.” and things are indeed, a frustrating mess. 

     And to think that beaches were one of the reasons why I came to Florida…. 

(To be continued)

ebook only $1.99 – through March 15!

Amazon/Kindle: https://amzn.to/3AzETuy

Barnes and Noble Nook:  https://bit.ly/3u24Y2O

Apple: https://apple.co/3D4kb6T

Kobo: https://bit.ly/3isQyUP

Scribd: https://bit.ly/3oskPXN

Indigo: https://bit.ly/2Yo4PeC

“My Ship Comes In” is the fourth story, a novella, in T.K. O’Neill’s Northwoods Pulp Reloaded release of three short crime stories and this longer story.

     Carole got a job as a copywriter at a Clearwater talk-radio station and our lives began to change once again. But the more things change the more they stay the same, they say, and I got back on the drugs and alcohol spiral. Only now I had a willing an enthusiastic partner.

     We were like two moths attracted to the same flame.

     But drugs and alcohol, plus squabbling, lead to infidelity and risky behavior. Soon I was strung out and desperate for something to call my own.

     And then one night, Barry Simpson, my old college pal, called from Orlando. “An old friend of yours is in town, Keith,” he said to me.

“Someone I know is in Orlando—right now?”

“Yep, from back in Zenith City.”

“Who the hell is that?”

“Dan Bagley.”

“You’re shitting me….”

     “Nope, it’s true.  He called me the other day from Daytona Beach, said he was going to be in town in a few days. He’s got some other dude with him.”

Regret fills me as I recall my trip to Orlando. If I had stayed at home with my family instead of taking the drive, there might be someone else on this beach instead of me. And I might still have a chance at a normal life.

     Bagley and Schmidt seemed so confident and free; I was taken in. I let Bagley lead me down wrong the path, much like the first time we met. That was back when we were kids and he talked me into sneaking out of Sunday school to smoke Lucky Strikes in the alley behind the church.   

     Sometimes you’re a little slow to learn, I guess.

It’s approaching nightfall now, and still no sign of the boat. Worry has turned to abject fear, overcome only by the need to ease the boredom. I turn the portable radio on as the grapefruit sun gets sliced up by the edge of the world. 

     Hendrix is playing “Manic Depression.” and things are indeed, a frustrating mess. 

     And to think that beaches were one of the reasons why I came to Florida…. 

(To be continued)

ebook only $1.99 – through March 15!

Amazon/Kindle: https://amzn.to/3AzETuy

Barnes and Noble Nook:  https://bit.ly/3u24Y2O

Apple: https://apple.co/3D4kb6T

Kobo: https://bit.ly/3isQyUP

Scribd: https://bit.ly/3oskPXN

Indigo: https://bit.ly/2Yo4PeC

“My Ship Comes In” is the fourth story, a novella, in T.K. O’Neill’s Northwoods Pulp Reloaded release of three short crime stories and this longer story.

     Carole Loraine Stivers Waverly, to be exact, my little flower child, in all her swirling confusion and beauty.

     I was happy to see her and ecstatic to reunite with Mike.

     Carole and I had been quite the couple. I don’t think we spent one night apart for the first three years of our marriage. We fancied ourselves like John Lennon and Yoko Ono, even had their album cover on our bedroom wall. Two Virgins—that was us.

     But when the marriage fell apart, it was gone in a hurry: seemingly happy at Christmas—separated by the Fourth of July. Went from lovers to haters in one hell of a hurry. I guess it was my fault but sometimes I’m not so sure.

     It’s clear to me now that I was trying to bring back the past. If only I’d been smarter or tougher or richer, maybe I never would’ve brought them to Florida. Could’ve kept them out of this mess, if only I’d been strong enough to make it alone…

Chapter 2

Out here on the sand, the waiting is tearing me up. The more I worry about the boat, the more I start to think about Carole and Mike: how much I miss them. The thought makes me hurt, a sad, sick sort of pain.

     My only escape from this lonely prison is to go back in my mind and try and see where it all went wrong. Drift back to the edge of disaster and see where I slipped off.I can see now where our life began to change, how I let certain things push me in the wrong direction.

     We were doing okay there in the beginning. Had a decent apartment and a semi-normal life and Florida seemed okay. I was staying clean and had a job as a tennis instructor at a resort and spa in Clearwater that was paying the bills. The three of us seemed reasonably happy.  

     Then I had one bad break. A real bad break… 

     Slipped on a leaf playing in a money doubles match, broke my leg and couldn’t work anymore. Had no health insurance or financial safety net. But there were plenty of pain pills around.

(To be continued)

“My Ship Comes In” is the fourth story, a novella, in T.K. O’Neill’s Northwoods Pulp Reloaded release of three short crime stories and this longer story.

     Carole Loraine Stivers Waverly, to be exact, my little flower child, in all her swirling confusion and beauty.

     I was happy to see her and ecstatic to reunite with Mike.

     Carole and I had been quite the couple. I don’t think we spent one night apart for the first three years of our marriage. We fancied ourselves like John Lennon and Yoko Ono, even had their album cover on our bedroom wall. Two Virgins—that was us.

     But when the marriage fell apart, it was gone in a hurry: seemingly happy at Christmas—separated by the Fourth of July. Went from lovers to haters in one hell of a hurry. I guess it was my fault but sometimes I’m not so sure.

     It’s clear to me now that I was trying to bring back the past. If only I’d been smarter or tougher or richer, maybe I never would’ve brought them to Florida. Could’ve kept them out of this mess, if only I’d been strong enough to make it alone…

Chapter 2

Out here on the sand, the waiting is tearing me up. The more I worry about the boat, the more I start to think about Carole and Mike: how much I miss them. The thought makes me hurt, a sad, sick sort of pain.

     My only escape from this lonely prison is to go back in my mind and try and see where it all went wrong. Drift back to the edge of disaster and see where I slipped off.I can see now where our life began to change, how I let certain things push me in the wrong direction.

     We were doing okay there in the beginning. Had a decent apartment and a semi-normal life and Florida seemed okay. I was staying clean and had a job as a tennis instructor at a resort and spa in Clearwater that was paying the bills. The three of us seemed reasonably happy.  

     Then I had one bad break. A real bad break… 

     Slipped on a leaf playing in a money doubles match, broke my leg and couldn’t work anymore. Had no health insurance or financial safety net. But there were plenty of pain pills around.

(To be continued)

“My Ship Comes In” is the fourth story, a novella, in T.K. O’Neill’s Northwoods Pulp Reloaded release of three short crime stories and this longer story.

     Time weighs heavy and I find myself looking back over my recent past, obsessively trying to discover how I ended up here on this beach on a fool’s mission.

     And that’s a question that takes one hell of an answer. 

     First thing, I guess you have to go back to my arrival in the Sunshine State, about eighteen long months ago. 

     There I was; rolling by the orange juice stands and peanut brittle shops inside a Greyhound bus, gazing out through tinted glass at the verdant finery and thinking that I’d finally made it to the Promised Land. The violence, death, and rotten weather in my recent past were fading away like a series of bad dreams. As I stared out at the palm trees and the swamps, I felt a smile coming on for the first time in a long, long while.

     Greetings from sunny Florida!

     For years I’d wanted to send that message back home to Minnesota, back up to the frozen tundra.  Get one of those postcards with water-skiing chicks on the front. You know, two nice-looking girls in bikinis gliding along the water while a third sits on their shoulders waving out at you. A banner flaps behind them proclaiming a welcome from the Sunshine State. The ladies wear big, broad smiles on Miss America faces. 

     Yep, I always wanted to mail that one up there to someone who hates winter. You know, rub it in a little. The catch always was that I never went anywhere to send it from. Set off for Florida, once, spring break of 1967, but never made it, because John Flint’s ‘63 Chevy blew a rod just south of Madison and we were forced to spend three days in Wisconsin drinking cheap liquor, eating cheese and chasing corpulent bar flies. By the time the repairs were finally completed, we didn’t have enough money left for Florida, so we stayed two more days in Wisconsin.

     Eleven years later, I had made it all the way. But as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t send the card back home. Couldn’t risk it, in case the Zenith City cops were interested in my whereabouts. Although I was confident that Peter McKay’s death had been written off as an accident—which I really believed it had been—I couldn’t be totally sure of the district attorney’s desires. And if they found Johnny Wells in the trunk of his car at the bottom of the Nemadji River, well… 

     Second reason I couldn’t send that postcard: When I arrived in Florida, it was nearly May and the intended sting of the message would be weakened by the promise of spring in the North—however hollow that promise might ring in the land of ten thousand frozen lakes. 

     That’s the kind of shit you think about on a long bus ride. Shit can get going in your head and drive you nuts.

     So I had to keep telling myself to stop thinking about the past. Put it behind me like a bad smell. Like the guy sitting in front of me on the Greyhound who’d stunk up the bus all the way from Atlanta with a foul odor like he’d slept in horse manure. I couldn’t smell the hillbilly couple in the back who were drinking cheap wine and rolling the empty bottles beneath the seats since boarding at a Stuckey’s just inside the Florida line, but I’m guessing they were also an olfactory nightmare.

     Despite the irritants, about a half an hour outside of Tampa, I started to get excited. Soon I’d be off the rotten bus and into the Florida sunshine and all my suffering would be over. There were clearly enough pieces of the pie for everyone to get a bite: fancy cars, condos, and high-class women zipping around in convertibles or sunning in scanty bikinis on the beach. 

     Why couldn’t I have some?

     I couldn’t see any reason why-not. But something just didn’t seem right. Not with me, not with Florida and not with anything. The land seemed desolate and lonely, in spite of all the vehicles and activity.

     But this was Florida for chrissakes—home of cheap dope and plenty of it. Or so I had heard. And read about in High Times magazine. Even Jimmy Buffet was singing about the dope. I never thought for a minute that it would be hard to find drugs in Florida. 

     And it wasn’t.

     Although I was trying hard to change my ways after the excesses and tragedies of the past, those noxious substances seemed to come to me unsolicited.

     So, alone and a fugitive, I overindulged and got myself into an agitated mental state. Excessive booze plus excessive coke equals paranoia and erratic thinking. After one such binge, I found myself with a deep-seated craving for some sort of an emotional anchor, which, somewhere in my twisted mind, my former wife Carole represented. 

     So I wired some money back home and soon Carole and our son Mike, were on a plane and headed south. I was in need of an emotional anchor but what I got was something else again. 

(To be continued)

Tom photo recropped

All T.K. O’Neill Books available here:  https://www.amazon.com/T.K.-ONeill/e/B09HPBWMJF

In the spirit of true pulp… an utter joy… downright good reading.”

“… immensely entertaining…”

“… great hard-boiled writing…”

“Ray Bradbury said zest and gusto are among the most important elements to a writer’s makeup. (O’Neill)… may never have read this advice, but he writes like he has. His work sparkles with gusto…”

“(O’Neill) writes his tales from the dark side well.  His dialogue, in particular, sparks with life, and… the clever by-play between characters drives the plot and develops the characters expertly.”

“Another of (O’Neill’s) strengths is his action scenes—and there are a lot of them, as you’d expect with violent and unpredictable characters. His pacing is immaculate, and he handily transitions between introspection, slow scenes and pulse-pounding action.”

“(O’Neill) followed his loves and his hates into a book that holds your attention and enters your psyche.  It presents a coherent, if nasty, picture of the human condition and the world we live in.”

“Frankly, a lot of writers don’t get as far as (O’Neill) did… having something to say and saying it with a little zest and gusto.”

“This collection of short stories is like a peepshow curtain pulled back. You don’t want to look, but you can’t help it. And, when you do, your disgust is tempered by an amazement that makes you want to look – just a little bit more. There are few heroes— at least not the kind who get the girl, the house or win the lottery.”

…. a lean style that he uses well to establish the outlines of his characters early in the stories. Over the course of a few pages he artfully fills in those sketches, refusing to “stay inside the lines.” His laconic descriptions of failed schemes and skewered lives result in wonderfully entertaining tales about the perils and pratfalls of a menagerie of people that can’t help but make you feel better about yourself.”

“These tales are full of people who live their lives to the fullest, in a bizarre way – and examining where, exactly, they end up can be disturbing. Their dreams, often, are the things that make up nightmares for “normal” people. But his characters are the real McCoy…”

From SHOTS Magazine, UK, reviewed by author Russell James:   “Four tales of the coldest North American states… crammed with hard men, hard language, snow and speed.  The backgrounds are good – low bars, cheap diners, empty motels, lonesome shacks – and the characters are tough and quick with their firearms…  These are punch and shoot ’em stories, make it up as you go along; tough and for all we know, authentic … (O’Neill) can write…”

From judge’s comments at Minnesota Book Awards: “…vulgar, violent, venomous.”

From Canadian Chapters.Indigo review: “A beautiful scene in the wilderness—hiding some grisly secrets… mystery writer (T.K. O’Neill) combines the traditional hard-boiled style of James Cain to create a harrowing story of devil worship, death, lawlessness and crime…”

From SHOTS Magazine, Great Britain, reviewed by Mike Stotter, Editor:   “….His writing is dark and twisted, like his characters.

From Reader Weekly:   “…a part of O’Neill’s talent… a character that no one likes but everyone wishes well.”

“You won’t come away with a warm feeling for the Sunshine State… if anything, you’ll realize how the suffocating heat of the humid Southland seems to encourage slithering snakes and festering parasites.”

“(T.K. O’Neill) throws worlds of hurt at his ne’er-do-well characters… in the spirit of Raymond Chandler… his writing process builds on trouble… the underside of the American Dream… a perfect example of noir…”

From The Corresponder (Minnesota State University):  “(O’Neill) is a writer who isn’t afraid to take chances with his story. There are no good guys or bad guys here. (O’Neill) lets his characters run wild and take the reader on a fast paced ride. Feels like classic crime noir with the insanity of a mental ward tossed in for good measure.”

“…his prose soars fast and high and reflects a keen eye for character, plot and setting, and follows the most convoluted stream of events with ease.”

“(O’Neill’s) talented writing is not for the fainthearted of rough talk and experience.  He gives keen insight to the exterior and interior world of a lost man.”

“While the language and environment are in rough-hewn speak, (O’Neill’s) writing has an underlying elegance and his characterization a developed depth.  There is some playful surface dry humor weaving in and out of a tough world context.  Expressed through the series and in this book is a substantially perceptive sense of humanity and lost humanity.”

“While on a wholly different track, and in a style all his own, there are darkened shades reminiscent of David Lindsey, James Lee Burke and John D. McDonald….”

From SPR (Self Publishing Review):  “Capturing the raw energy, resilience, and murky lawlessness of a bitter wilderness, Northwoods Pulp Reloaded by T.K. O’Neill is a stirring and wild collection.

Three intensely told stories capped off with a visceral crime novella, this is a seemingly easy escape read, but the writing is smart and deeper than expected, from high-stakes morality parables to and illicit adventures that quickly get out of hand. O’Neill focuses a bit more on fast-talking dialogue and action sequences than he does on character development, but the world-building is immersive, with colloquial bits of nuance and detail that make the rugged scenes come alive.

The narration and internal monologuing of characters is strong and bold, particularly in the novella, but the dialogue does come off hackneyed at times. However, these stories are ripped from the gritty edge of experience, and even the rougher edges of writing reflect that source material. Told with a reverence for the culture, traditions, and demands of a part of the country that most will never experience, this homage to cold-weather rebels makes for a thrilling read overall.

For any reader who has ever pointed their fortunes north and let their moral compass waver, or loves reading about well-crafted antiheroes, O’Neill’s collection is an intense but entertaining dive into another world.”